59: day, um, who knows? Some Things Never Change.

The last time I posted, it was that painful and frustrating non-season of not-quite-Spring...still more snow/wind/rain/crap to come.

Now, 3 1/2 weeks later, we're moving into glorious full-bloom Spring with predictably sunny days and ever-warming temperatures.

I could torture my words into a metaphor for habit-changing, evolving, growing, blah blah blah. But that would be forcing words and thoughts into some neat little package.

Here's the thing - I may be a grown-up on paper. I may be approaching one of those pivotal Passages, moving from my 50s into my 60s. But at heart, I am still a procrastinating 8 year-old; a recalcitrant, emotional, stubborn 13 year-old, a 16 year-old who can't "journal" or keep a diary for more than a few days before losing interest and moving on to something else.

I'd like to think I can change these things but honestly? They are part and parcel of what makes me "me."

And perhaps there's a little personal lesson for myself in this realization - I'm me and that's a good thing. Even the bad stuff is good. It's all a matter of acceptance and finding a way to work with the Me-material I was given when I was born.

I seriously considered giving up on this blog - maybe it's silly, pretentious, self-conscious and who the hell cares what I'm writing anyway?

But then again, the writing itself is somewhat cathartic. Certainly harmless. And if I plunge back in - not every day (obviously THAT isn't going to happen!), maybe at the end of a year, I'll have learned a little something about myself.

Or maybe not. And that's just fine.