59: day 4 Somber anniversary

Today is the 18th anniversary of the death of my mother. She was 2 months short of her 69th birthday and she had drowned in her own bathtub, a half-finished cup of whiskey nearby.

This anniversary always gives me pause, as does the photo accompanying this post. It shows my mother and father, with our brand new daughter, their first grandchild. Mom was 59 - the age I am now. Daddy was 60 - he only lived another 7 years.

So much joy in the photo. So much sadness to come, but we had no idea at that time.

Ultimately, lessons were learned, I have been sober for nearly 19 years (since before my mother died), grief was processed and my parents are remembered with love and forgiveness and deepening understanding.

I learned, most of all, that one person can change my life and that person is me - I am healthier, fitter, happier, more mindful than ever before.

Thinking back to when my mom was my age, though, always brings a tear.